Everything After
by Neytah-chama
Summary: He's gone... now what?  POST-SERIES Discontinued
1. Broken Doll

**Everything After**

**By Neytah-chama**

**Disclaimer: I do not own deathnote**

I remember I cried. Pooling in my eyes, running down my face dripping off my chin onto the floor. I fell to my knees, putting my face in my hands. He's gone.

It's kept me cooped up in my room for days. I can't eat. I can barely sleep.

I lie in my bed, pulling the covers close my seemingly endless tears steadily streaming. They say Kira killed him. They say he died honorably, fighting to stop the merciless killings. But I just don't understand. I loved Kira once. He killed the man who took my family away from me. But why did he have to kill Light? He didn't do anything wrong. It was his job to do what he was doing. I hate Kira. He doesn't consider, the people he's killing have families. They have lovers.

I wonder what Kira's family thinks. The police say Kira was a guy named Teru Mikami. They say he commit suicide after his cover was blown. Sometimes I wish he was still here, just to tell him what I think. To ask him, why Light? What did he do wrong? What did _I_ do wrong? What did I do to deserve this?

"Misa?" My Manager knocks on my door. Not Matsuda or Mogi pretending to be my manager. Just a manager. I'm normal now. Not the celebrity girlfriend of an undercover cop trying to bring Kira to justice. Just… me. No matter how many times it hits me, it hurts just as much.  
I'm back to being normal.  
As normal as I'll ever be.

I sit up slowly, sending my head spinning. The sunlight shines through the curtains, lighting the room a pale yellow. Outside the curtains in the rest of the world. I don't want to see it. I already know what it's like. Crime rate has spiked since Kira died. Riots of die-hard Kira fans plague the city, protesting the police.

I know I need to get out of here. No matter what happens I am Misa-misa. The model, the actor, the singer. She needs to get out, make a comeback, show everyone nothing's going to bring her down.

But Underneath all that is just 'Misa'. I don't know who Misa is anymore. She's trapped inside this room.

And won't come out.

**That's the end of chapter 1**

**I've had this story in my head a while now, and I'm glad to finally get it out.**

**This is one of my first stories so reviews are appreciated.**

**Thank you!**

**-Neytah-chama**


	2. 2 & 18 are true, the rest are false

**Everything After**

**By Neytah-chama**

**A/N: Hey people. I know I haven't updated in like, forever, but I got wrapped up in my other stories, and I was having writers block. And when I got to the part where Misa was talking about how great Light was, I cracked up laughing cuz he didn't do anything great for her.(I actually hate Light with a passion and think Misa is the biggest airhead in the world… can you tell?)  
This chapter is dedicated to my grandfather, who died actually a couple months ago, when I last posted. this funeral chapter is based on my experience at the funeral, I know it's the catholic version and they usually don't do that in Japan, but this is what I know.  
And do you know how embarrassing it is when you go to a funeral of a religion you're not familiar with and everyone else knows all these verses by heart and in your head you're all like 'sorry… what?'  
The title is in reference to a story someone told about my grandfather. I'd like to keep the meaning a secret.  
Anyway, here it is. I'd love to hear what people think of it. The review button is there for a reason. Anyway, enjoy!**

Everyone's here. Sachiko, Sayu, and several other relatives I don't know. And me. The task force, old classmates, and family friend have all come to mourn. It's the day before the funeral. It's the wake.

He lies in a coffin at the front of the room. He's as beautiful as ever. But it scares me. You could say he looks like he's sleeping, but it doesn't. His lips are sealed shut, not releasing a sigh every now and then as if he was resting. He's not breathing.

I feel like I'm looking at a doll, still and lifeless. His body is cold. It frightens me. I back away. It's bringing up memories- no, more like nightmares.

People are coming up to me, telling me how sorry they are. Sayu hardly registers their words. She's still out of it from the kidnapping. Sometimes, I wish it had been me. Then I wouldn't have to face everything I've lost. What all these people are telling me they're so sorry for. Reminding me. I'm trying not to let the tears come out. My mascara is running. The voices of everyone around me become a blur as the memories come rushing back. His face, his smile, his warmth. I'm never gonna see it again.

Before I know it, I'm on the floor sobbing, a tearful mess. I'm choking on my own tears, trying to gain composure, but nothing I do is working. Hands of unidentified people are helping me up, out of the room, away from his body. The part of me trying to pull it together is slowly being eaten away as I fall into an abyss of sorrow.

I'm trying to be strong. But you can't just ignore the fact that he's gone. Claws ripping at my heart, an everlasting pain that seems endless.

I'm back in my room. My lifeless, meaningless room. The room that used to be ours. I don't exactly remember how I got here. Yesterday is a bit of a blur. Everyday's been like that recently. But I can't avoid what the calendar says. I need to pull myself together. This is the day everyone comes together to remember him. If I missed that, I would never forgive myself. I've got to keep it together, to preserve the memory of him. Show every Kira supporter in the world how wrong it was for Light to be killed. This is a day to remember the happy ones. With him.

There are so many people here. All the people that knew him. All here to remember. I hope he can see it, wherever he is. Somewhere.

Some people come up and tell stories about him. The details pass me by, as I imagine the stories they tell of him, all I see is his face, his smile. How it used to be. Then it's my turn to speak.

All the people are staring at me. Some are like "Omigosh itz MisaMisa". Some are just staring at me, not giving a shit how famous I am, waiting for me to speak. I'm glad here; I can be seen as more than 'Misa-Misa'. I can be seen as… well, 'girlfriend of the deceased'. I begin.

"Most of you probably know who I am. Me and Light dated for several years." I try to hold back the tears building up.

"I remember when I first met him. He was always a very serious person. He was always working so hard for school, for college, for the case that killed him.

"He cared about everything he did. He would help his little sister with her homework. He would come home from work worrying about what happened that day. And yet, he always found time to care about me.

"In the end, he got what he wanted. Kira's gone."

I step down, wiping tears out of my eyes. As I walk away, my manager whispers, "you probably shouldn't of said that much."

And for the first time in my life I say, "Well, I don't give a flying f*ck."


End file.
